


stand by me

by pastelhajime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Homophobia, Love, M/M, Pining, homophobic parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 12:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8624410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelhajime/pseuds/pastelhajime
Summary: "I'll stand by you for as long as I live."or; in which tsukishima wonders if yamaguchi still thinks of him, even when they're not together.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yamaguchj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamaguchj/gifts).



> i dedicate this one to ane!! happy early birthday angel ilysm mwah!!
> 
> i hope u enjoy this little one shot i made for u,, its p shit but oh well :/
> 
> again, have a good birthday i love u so bad ahhh

"You're all grown up now!" His mother laughed in his ear. He winced, her breath hot and heavy against his skin. "My baby's getting promoted!"

_Tsukki!_

"Now, now, give him some space." His father boomed, but there was a sense of playfulness in his eyes. He looked up, and frowned at the twinkle in the other man's eyes. "He's a grown man, now."

"But still," His mother gushed, pinching his cheeks. "I'm so proud! Oh, all the neighbourhood ladies are going to love this."

_Tsukki! I've missed you so much, you know?_

"Im sure Kei wouldn't appreciate a bunch of old ladies gossiping his advancement in career, would you?" He shrugged, and his older brother laughed. "I told you, leave him alone. Let him enjoy this without you two pestering him."

_Tsukki! Does this outfit look good on me?_

"I am not a pester!" His mother huffed, but her eyes were still shining. "And I'm not old, either! Right, Kei?"

_Tsukki! When are you going to be back?_

"He's gone so far now," His father mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "A lot further than he could have gone with that Yamaguchi kid holding him back—"

_Tsukki! I'm sorry! Please don't leave!_

_Tsukki, no!_

_Tsukki!_

"Stop that," Kei growled, slamming his hands on the table and standing up. He easily towered over his father and brother, despite their extensive height, and his mother stood cowardly to one side. "You do not speak about Tadashi that way, you hear me?"

"Kei, please." His father shook his head softly, like all of this was wearing him out. "I thought you'd finally gotten over that—"

"That what?" Kei hissed. "Finish that sentence, I dare you."

"That's enough," His brother snapped, and Kei looked away. "I'm going to walk with Kei for a little while now. You two," He ordered, gesturing towards his mother and father. "Sort this out. Don't wait up for us."

"Akiteru, don—"

"I feel like we should listen to him on this one, okay?" His mother placed a gentle hand on his father's arm. "Just let them go."

His father frowned, but didn't say anything. Akiteru grabbed Kei's wrist and began walking. For a while, there was silence all around, safe from the sound of the occasional twig or leaf snapping under the two boys' feet.

Eventually, the surroundings became familiar to Kei. It was an old tree fort, complete with a tire swing. Their father had built Kei and Akiteru the fort for Kei's eleventh birthday. Kei ran his hand against the ageing wood. He could barely remember a life before this fort.

Akiteru gingerly sat on the tire swing. "How are you holding up?"

_Tsukki, please!_

Kei swallowed. "Not too good," He admitted. Akiteru nodded.

"Don't listen to him," Akiteru insisted, getting off the swing. He was just under Kei's height, but to Kei, it was as if they were younger again, and he had to strain to meet his brother's gaze from such a height. "You know he's wrong."

_Tsukki! Is it something I did?_

Kei closed his eyes. "It doesn't matter now, anyway." He pushed his glasses up on his nose. "He's not here anymore."

_Tsukki, hold on!_

"Is that so?" Akiteru raised an eyebrow and put his hands in his pockets. "Then how come you're here with me?"

_Tsukki, look at me!_

_Tsukki, I'm sorry!_

_Tsukki!_

"I—" Kei tried to explained, but his voice caught so he had to start again. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Akiteru smiled knowingly. "Kei, you've used that excuse for two years now. I think I know you pretty well to safely assume that you do, really, want to talk about it."

_Tsukki, stop avoiding my gaze!_

"Okay, fine, maybe I do." Kei put his hands in his pockets, and looked down. "I-I just don't know how."

"That's fine, Kei." Akiteru's voice was low and soft, like a parent's, and it made Kei want to burst into tears. "You don't need to have a point, you just need to express yourself."

Kei rolled his eyes. "I don't need to 'express myself'. I'm not some sort of delusional painter."

"But in a way, you kinda are, aren't you?" Kei's head shot up. "Your longing for Yamaguchi-san is making you delusional, Kei."

_Tsukki! Wait a minute!_

_Tsukki! You can't just leave like that!_

"I'm not delusional." Kei crossed his arms. "Did you call me out here just to make fun of me?"

Akiteru laughed. "What do you take me for?" He shook his head. "I brought you out here because I knew you needed some space, no?"

_Tsukki! At least tell me why you can't stay!_

Kei licked his lips and swallowed. "Yeah."

All of a sudden, thunder broke out above both boys' heads, and rain came raging down. Akiteru gestured towards the fort to stay dry, but Kei couldn't move.

It was raining when he left, too.

_"Tsukki, please! At least think this through!"_

_"I have, and I'm perfectly calm! I can't stay with you, Tadashi."_

_"B-But, why? I thought we were happy, Tsukki!"_

_"Well, you thought wrong. I'm leaving."_

_"Tsukki! Please don't tell me you're embarrassed!"_

_"I am."_

_"Tsukki!"_

_"I am! Look at us! Two men aren't meant to be together, Tadashi!"_

_"You said it didn't matter! You said as long as we loved each other, we'd be fine!"_

_"I lied! It'll never be okay!"_

_"Tsukki..."_

_"I've had enough. I might be getting a promotion at work, and I don't want you holding me back. I'm leaving."_

_"Tsukki, please."_

_"No, Tadashi. Learn to stop."_

_"At least take an umbrella with you when you leave, okay?"_

_"What?"_

_"I love you."_

_"Stop."_

"Kei!" Akiteru yelled, running over to his brother. "What are you doing? You're going to get a cold, stay inside!"

"I broke his heart," Kei whispered. His eyes were wide, and his fingers were shaking. "Me. I broke his heart."

Akiteru's gaze softened. "Oh, Kei..."

"It's true." Kei whispered. His cheeks were wet, but he knew it wasn't because of the rain. "I left him, I told him I didn't care, I—" Kei looked up at his brother. "I broke his heart."

"Kei, it's not your fault." Akiteru's voice was soft, but Kei shook his head.

"Whose is it then?" Kei was yelling now. "I chose to leave him!"

"You didn't have a choice!" Akiteru yelled back. "You had to leave!"

"No, I didn't." Kei sobbed, and he fell to his knees. Akiteru sat down gingerly beside him. "I could have stayed with him, but I chose to screw it all up."

"Kei, don't say that." Kei looked up at Akiteru, his hair flat against the harsh rain, a kind smile on his face, and knew he didn't deserve any of this. "It wasn't your fault that your relationship wasn't approved."

_"You like a boy, Kei?"_

_"Dad, I'm—"_

_"No wonder you were hanging out with him all the time! How disgusting!"_

_"Dad! Don't say that about Tadashi!"_

_"You won't date him and be my son. Stop this...whatever this is, or you will not be a Tsukishima."_

_"Dad, I—"_

_"That's the end of it."_

_"But I—"_

_"Faggot."_

"Just stop!" Kei yelled. He hid his face in his palms and let the tears flow harder, faster, and made no attempt to stop them. "You can say it; I shouldn't have left Tadashi! I should have stayed and fought Dad!"

"Kei—"

"Stop taking my side, dammit!" Kei screamed. Above the two boys' head, thunder roared, reflecting their states of mind. "I was wrong, just say it!"

"Fine! You were wrong!" Akiteru yelled back. He stood up, hands on hips, and Kei peeked through his fingers at his towering brother. "Yes, you should've stayed back with Yamaguchi-san instead of running away. So what?"

Kei didn't respond. Akiteru shook his head and continued. "Kei, you may have made a lot of mistakes, but the important thing is you learnt from them. I've never seen you long for anything the way you long for Yamaguchi-san."

"I miss him," Kei whispered. Or maybe he was yelling, he couldn't tell anymore. "I miss him so much, Akiteru."

Akiteru's heart broke at the scene in front of him. "Oh, Kei,"

"I want him back." Kei sniffed. He crossed his arms. "I miss his smiles, I missed the way he was so full of life, and whenever he entered the room, all eyes would be on him, but his eyes would be on me. I miss that."

"I miss the way he used to get so embarrassed when I told him I loved him, the small blush over those adorable freckles on his face. I miss the short giggles he couldn't hold back whenever we watched that stupid tv show of his. I miss the way he'd stick his tongue out when he cooked, because he wanted it to be good for me."

"But he never questioned if I was right for him. Even when I left, the last thing he said to me was 'I love you,'." Kei shook his head. "He didn't realise that I was nowhere near good enough for someone like him."

"Kei," Akiteru sighed. "You're still head over heels for this boy, obviously. Why don't you tell him?"

"What's the point?" Kei stood up. "He's gone now, he's moved on. He doesn't need someone like me anymore."

"You don't know that—"

"Yes, I do!" Kei yelled. "Do you really think he'd wait that long? He's probably found someone who could take care of him better than I could already."

"No, I haven't." Akiteru and Kei shared a puzzled look. "Or at least, I don't think I have."

Kei's heart stopped at the sight in front of him. In front of him stood the boy he'd longed for, for so long now, in a dress shirt and tie. His hair was still in that signature cowlick, and the freckles on his face were more prominent than ever. And in his hand, a small box.

"Tadashi," Kei wheezed, like all the breath had been knocked out of him. He ran his eyes over the other boy's frame again, like he was trying to soak him up. "What are you doing here?"

Tadashi looked at the floor and scratched his cheek shyly. "Well, I heard from a mutual friend that you'd gotten that promotion you wanted, and so I thought I might stop by and give you this." He pushed the box towards Kei. "Its not much, but it should be enough."

"Tadashi..." Kei felt his eyes watering, and had to force them on the box. Opening it, he saw a small dinosaur keychain, similar to one he'd had when he was younger. "You remembered."

"Well, obviously." Tadashi grinned, and put his hands in his pockets. "You didn't stop talking about it when we were da—when we last met."

Kei looked down. "About that," He cleared his throat. "Akiteru, could you give us some space?"

"Of course," Akiteru nodded. "It was nice seeing you again, Yamaguchi-san."

"You too, Tsukishima-kun." Tadashi nodded back, as the older boy headed back into the bushes. "Is everything okay, Tsukki?"

Tsukki. "I-I haven't seen you in so long." Kei muttered, and his voice felt weak and brittle. Tadashi looked away.

"Yeah, well," Tadashi shrugged. "The last time I saw you, you told me you didn't want to be seen with me again. I'm surprised you're still talking to me."

Kei winced. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Tadashi. I-I was just scared, and—"

"You think you were the only scared one?" Kei looked up at Tadashi, and that's when it hit him that this was the first time he'd seen Tadashi without a smile. "It's like you don't even know me, Tsukki."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I knew what people were saying. I could hear the whispers and glares, I saw all of it. I was scared out of my mind about the future held for us. But I loved you, so I held on to that." Tadashi shook his head and crossed his arms, and Kei felt further away than ever. "Then again, I guess I have to thank you for that. After you left, I didn't need to worry about the future anymore."

"Tadashi, please." Kei's voice broke at the end, and Tadashi's eyes softened, if slightly. "You don't know, how much I've been longing for you, how much I regret letting you go everyday."

"If you did regret it, Tsukki, you would've done something." Tadashi's eyes followed a colony of ants on the ground. Kei looked at him.

"What am I doing now, then?" Kei asked, a suggestive lilt to his voice. Tadashi swallowed. "I thought you'd be mad, angry, because I let you down. And I needed you, I missed you so much, but I didn't say anything because I thought you wouldn't listen."

"Don't say that," Tadashi was whispering. "I'll always listen to you, Tsukki."

Kei took a deep breath, mustering as much courage as he could. He took a step closer to Tadashi. "I thought about you every day, Tadashi. I wondered where you were, who you were with—I was pretty sure you had a girlfriend, or boyfriend, by now." Kei laughed weakly, and Tadashi's gaze flickered up at him, before falling back onto the ground.

"But tonight, tonight is the first night in which I don't have to worry about if you were safe, if your partner was treating you right, if you were eating enough, because you're right here." Kei's eyes met Tadashi's, and Tadashi closed his. "You're right here, Tadashi, and that's more than I could've hoped for."

Tadashi didn't reply, so Kei took this opportunity to slip his fingers through Tadashi's. He wanted to cry, or scream, or do something, at the feel of their skin touching. It felt like coming home, his long, pale fingers in Tadashi's shorter, tanned ones. Tadashi gasped softly, and Kei pulled him into his chest.

"What took you so long?" Tadashi mumbled into Kei's shirt, tears staining the front of it. Kei smiled softly. "You should've just come after me then, and we wouldn't have to do this now."

"I know," Kei replied wistfully. He took a hand from Tadashi's waist and ran it through the other boy's hair instead. "I know, and I'm sorry. But at least I'm here now, right?"

"I missed you," Tadashi sobbed. "I missed you so, so much, Tsukki."

"Oh, God, Tadashi," Kei laughed into the other boy's hair. He let it flow like silk through his fingers, let it caress his face softly. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that again."

Tadashi laughed again, and nuzzled his face into Kei's shirt. Kei brought his arms back around Tadashi's waist, pulled him closer, trying to eradicate any hint of space between them.

"Tsukki," Tadashi murmured, his eyes dipping like he was going to fall asleep. "Can I ask you something?" Kei hummed in approval. "Why'd you leave?"

Kei's breath hitched in his throat. "I-uh, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, I just—"

"My father." Kei deadpanned. Tadashi pulled away and looked up at the taller boy, and found no warmth in his eyes. "He didn't think that me being gay was a good thing."

"Oh, Tsukki." Tadashi cupped the other boy's cheek wistfully, and Kei closed his eyes and swallowed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I didn't know how to tell you," Kei admitted. He opened his eyes, only to be met with Tadashi's pitiful ones. "I didn't want to hurt you but, well, that didn't work very well."

"Don't say that," Tadashi leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to Kei's collarbone, and Kei's adam's apple bobbed up and down. "It's not your fault that your dad isn't supportive."

"I know that, its just," Kei looked down at Tadashi, who offered him a small smile. "I shouldn't have listened to him. He—when he found out, he freaked out and said he'd disown me if I stayed with you." Kei looked away. "So I left you."

"Oh," Tadashi looked down at his shoes. "so that's why."

"But that doesn't mean I haven't changed, Tadashi." The brunet looked up again, and saw the hints of desperation in the other boy's eyes. "If he asked me again, I wouldn't let you go."

"Tsukki," Tadashi couldn't help it; he broke out into a smile. Kei grinned softly.

"I mean it," Kei whispered into Tadashi's hair, closing his eyes. "I'm not letting you go anymore, no matter what."

"Well, that's good." Tadashi laughed into Kei's chest. "Because I'm not going through that hell again."

Kei visibly winced. "Was it that bad?" He asked, pulling away to look at Tadashi. "I'm sorry, Tadashi."

"It's fine. You're back now, and that's all that matters." Tadashi mumbled. "You're back, and I'm not letting you leave again."

"No, I—" Kei rested his hand on the nape of his neck and blushed. "I didn't know I hurt you that bad."

"You're back, and that's all that matters." Tadashi's eyes dipped forward and he smiled. Kei grinned back at him.

"I've missed you so much, Tadashi." Kei whispered, eyes clouding over. Tadashi blushed. "I've missed having you stand by me."

"Well, you don't need to worry." Tadashi wrapped his arms around Kei. "I'll stand by you for as long as I live."


End file.
